Charles Foster Offdensen
Charles Foster Ofdensen is Dethklok's manager, legal counsel, and CFO, the latter also incidentally being his initials. He acts as the voice of reason against Dethklok's constant disregard of law and logic. He acts as manager, lawyer, and adviser to Dethklok, protecting the band against everything from slowing record sales to themselves. Ofdensen is one of the few individuals seen to interact with Dethklok for any significant length of time and evade subsequent mutilation or death. Ofdensen is a "dark parody" caricature of band-managers, being "all about business;" he reacts with general apathy to the mayhem caused by Dethklok, his only concern seemingly being the legal or financial ramifications of their actions. Similarly, he shows little more than slight annoyance when the band insults him in one way or another. Despite his attempts to curb Dethklok's violent behavior (at least in public), Ofdensen has performed or ordered performed numerous acts of brutality. However his violent acts are always quite calculated and direct to a surgical degree and done with clear objectives in mind to protect the band — unlike the band's violent actions and effects which tend to be extremely random and usually quite accidental. He has no problem ordering others to be beaten or killed (Dr. Rockzo in particular, whom he orders to be beaten and tortured twice). General Crozier warns Dr. Rockzo to "stay away from Ofdensen, he means business." Ofdensen also has secret contacts with the leaders of the United Nations, because so much of their economies depend on Dethklok sales; this allows him a global license to instantly and secretly trace, capture, torture and imprison all those who illegally download or record Dethklok's music. These victims are simply publicly listed as "missing," but are secretly imprisoned and tortured at Mordhouse, where they are driven to insanity by forcibly exposing them to Dethklok's music at extremely high volumes ("Dethvengeance"). He also had set up a worldwide ban/enbargo on all Dethklok Tribute bands, but repealed the ban in order for Dethklok to get closer to their fans. Ofdensen displays exceptional skill in close-quarters combat in several episodes. In "The Metalocalypse Has Begun" he single-handedly disarms and almost kills the Metal Masked Assassin, despite the latter being much more physically imposing. When he is surprised, badly beaten and thrown through a window several stories high in their next encounter in the episode "The Revengencers", he manages to land on his hands and feet without injury. In "Dethsources", he has a fencing match with Melmord Fjordslorn to determine who would remain as Dethklok's manager, having insisted that the only way to separate him from Dethklok would be to kill him. After a lengthy battle, Ofdensen barely manages to stab Melmord and force him off of the top of Mordhaus' Dragonspire, causing him to fall to his death on the train tracks below. A passing train moving into the compound annihilates the body. In an extra clip Metalocalypse Season 2 DVD, Ofdensen is seen telling Dethklok he's sorry about Melmord's splitting (he apparently lied to them about Melmord's disappearance), likely fabricating the story that appeared in the news that Melmord was a pedophile. He also tells them he can be more fun like Melmord. He then proceeds to get drunk and parties with Dethklok. Ofdensen's knowledge of the conspiracy against Dethklok is unknown. His office has a safe containing classified information; however, the contents of the safe are never seen, as he catches Dr. Rockzo just before the act of attempting to film them. He uses high-tech radar and surveillance to monitor the band's safety during their ill-fated performance of Dethwater at the Gulf of Danzig in the first season finale; he likewise has an elaborate defense, escape and counterstrike prepared when military forces attack Dethklok. In Black Fire Upon Us, Ofdensen becomes very preoccupied about security during Dethklok's new album release party, appointing an elite group of Klokateers to protect Dethklok and constructing a high-powered shield to surround Mordhaus. During the Revengencers attack, he is shot down by a crossbow off his hoverbike while he is being chased by the Metal Masked Assassin. The Assassin then proceeds to brutally beat him up and attempts to torture him before killing him, but he is saved by Nathan Explosion. Nathan even says "That's my bread and butter you're fucking with" the same line said by Ofdensen at the end of the first season's finale when he saved Toki and Skwisgaar. However, the episode's final shot leaves Ofdensen's fate unclear. In the 1st episode of Season 3, "RenovationKlok", it starts with a flashback showing Dethklok and Ofdensen's meeting with Crystal Mountain Records CEO, Roy Cornickelson, signing a recording contract. The CEO and Ofdensen shake hands with Ofdensen stating the way the band is going they will both be very rich. However the meeting is interrupted by Roy's arrogant son, Damien Cornickelson. Damien insults his father while demanding money, he also mocks Nathan and the band asking what kind of music they played, to which Nathan responds, "DETH METAL!", then punching him in the face. Ofdensen prevents the son from punching Nathan (catching the punch with his hand) and Damien is forced leave, but swears revenge on Dethklok. After the meeting Ofdensen tells the band they need to pay attention to contractual matters & the flashbacks ends with Ofdensen warning "What if I'm not around in the future?". Back in the present, it appears Ofdensen is dead & Dethklok is forced to become their own managers while dealing with repairs to the destroyed Mordhaus (which now floating high above the earth) and trying to plan their biggest concert to date. Dethklok is shown to be completely lost and helpless without Ofdensen's guidance. With their poor business decisions, mismanagement, bad spending habits cause them to lose money. Toki is seen mourning Ofdensen's death (looking at a picture of Ofdensen), by Pickles. Toki tells Pickles he misses their manager and Pickles admits they all do even though they don't say it. When Toki asks why don't say it and Pickles responds (while looking at his locket with Ofdensen picture inside), "Because admitting sadness, makes you gay.". Toki then tells Pickles he thinks their not doing a terrible job managing Dethklok. Things get even worse when the Klokateers paychecks bounce and Nathan realizes if their employee's money is F'd up, their money could be as well. It discovered that Crystal Mountain Records has cuts off their unlimited financial freedom unless Dethklok renegotiates their contract. Damien is man behind the record label's actions, having taken control of the company from his terminally ill father, as a way to get his revenge against Dethklok. Mordhaus electricity is turned off causing it to fall from the sky, however Dethklok escapes unharmed. Even The Tribunal takes notice that Dethklok is in peril. Vater Orlaag states "Dethklok lost a truly important part of their empire." (refering to Ofdensen). During the Tribunal's meeting Ofdensen's viking funeral is shown (something only high level Dethklok employees receive and Ofdensen was by far at the very top of Dethklok employees). Senator Stampingston states that with Ofdensen gone, Dethklok doesn't have the ability to make educated business decisions & in the meantime their squandering billions. Meanwhile, Dethklok has meeting with Damien via teleprompter. Damien tells the band that they have to renegotiate and if they don't the label has the right to shutdown the upcoming concert (as per their original contract), which Dethklok needs to play as they put all their money into it as it is the only way they can make back all their money. Dethklok unable to understand contractual matters and having no more cash is forced to cut back on spending. They decide to call the record label's bluff and do the concert anyway, without renegotiating. The concert goes as planned at first, however Damien shuts it down literally, by cutting the power. Left with no other option, but to renegotiate, Dethklok meets with Damien and two other executives backstage. They are about to sign a new contract when a glasses-less, plain clothed Ofdensen appears ( sporting a scar on his left cheek). Nathan immediately punches Damien, Ofdensen says to the band "You boys got a show to do, don't worry, I'll be right here when your done and have a little meeting with these guys." With this last-minute plot twist it is confirmed that Ofdensen is still alive. On their way back to Mordhaus after a successful concert, Ofdensen reveals that he faked his death for the last nine months in order to investigate the large conspiracy involving Dethklok unnoticed, though he tells them that it's a story for another day; redirecting their attention to pulling the band back together financially. The episode ends showing General Crozier under the control of Selatcia mobilizing an army, Selatcia watching construction of what appears to be some sort of device in some far off frozen region. Given Ofdensen's words it would appear he is very well aware of the conspiracy against Dethklok and seems to be aware of Selatcia's and possibly the Tribunal's actions, but to what extent is still unknown. Seeing how Dethklok was affected by their manager's supposed death, they appear to realized how important Ofdensen is to them in order to protect them and their band from outside threats, like Damien, to even themselves. His abilities as band manager allows Dethklok to ignore any business matters once again and focus with what they are best at: deth metal. By the beginning of the second episode TributeKlok, Ofdensen is shown to have quickly returns to his duties as Dethklok's manager/protector, repairing the damage done in his absence. He is forced to deal with the fallout after the band pulls out of a benefit concert and Murderface's makes a comment causes fan to lashout in protest. In a meeting with Dethklok he explains how much time and money is spent silencing the media. He explains that they first make agreement with all participants involved in order to evict all information from the record, of course this means "rounding-up" (a.e. kidnapping) said participants & if their are any problems they are dealt with. This includes mental reprogramming, facial reconstruction and relocation of any unwilling participants, all done in typical Dethklok fashion. Ofdensen goes on to say that this happens every time Murderface has a media disaster (which is often). Also due to the backlash, Ofdensen has decided that in order to get closer to the fan, he has released the embargo on Dethklok tribute bands. In later meeting he explains that Dethklok has the right to approve/disapprove any said Tribute-bands. During the vote process Dethklok & Ofdensen discover Toki has secretly created the tribute band Thunderhorse, with himself playing the role of Skwisgaar Skwigelf. The band decides to go see Thunderhorse play. At the Thunderhorse concert the rest off Dethklok decided to join Toki in Thunderhorse as a way to get back to their roots. This leads to them (as ThunderHorse) getting roped into playing for the same benefit they originally pulled out of. Ofdensen finds Dethklok suffering from starvation, lack of sleep, and forced to be their own roadies. Ofdensen tries to convince them to give up their gig as Thunderhorse, but they refuse. Ofdensen eventually leaves telling them he'll be there if they need him. Right before the show is about to begin, Nathan & the others come to their senses and decide to bail on the concert. Nathan calls Ofdensen to send their helicopter to pick them up. In "FatherKlok", he helps Skwisgaar deal with multiple paternity suits filed by various women whom he had fathered children with. Ofdensen has the suits dismissed using typical Dethklok legal maneuvering (Signed Waivers), via signed "Paternity Waivers" which all women who wish to have sex with a member of Dethklok have to sign. While riding back to Mordhaus, Ofdensen comments about Skwisgaar's lack of a father (as Skwisgaar's father is unknown due to his mother's promiscuity) and makes a brief remark about his own father (Ofdensen says his father had strong hands), before Skwisgaar says he wants to find his biological father. Ofdensen looks just as surprised as the rest of the band when Skwisgaar shockingly announces that he's quitting the band. Quotes The Metalocalypse Has Begun *(Under attack by Crozier & the Assassin) "They've got us surrounded! Quickly to the PentaPods!" *(While confronting the Assassin, Ofdensen makes his trademark quote) "That's MY bread & butter you're fucking with!" Black Fire Upon Us *(Before the attack by The Revengencers--speaking to the Klokateer Elite Squad) "This will be the most dangerous night of your lives. Protect yourselves. Protect Mordhaus. And most of all, Protect Dethklok." Trivia *He seems to be the voice of Facebones. *In "Dethsources", he reveals he fenced in college while talking to Melmord Fjordslorn. *Despite the news of his alleged death being announced far wide by the media, there's been no comment about his public reappearance. *In "FatherKlok", he makes a brief comment about his father, this is the first time he talks about his family. *Ofdensen is known for collecting lamps. He categorizes them into two groups: his "good lamps", and his "cheap lamps". Although it is unknown where the good lamps are from, all of the bad lamps are from Ikea. Two of his good lamps were smashed by an angry Pickles when he found out that Rikki Kixx had taken over Snakes N' Barrels and made them sober, but Ofdensen told him not to break his good lamps and told Pickles to break his bad lamps instead. Pickles then proceeded to break all of the bad lamps, with Toki coming in and joining Pickles. Category:Characters Category:Dethklok Employees Category:Allies of Dethklok Category:Mordhaus Category:Dethklok Category:Dethklok's Mascot Category:Band Managers Category:Record Industry